David Bruehl

Last night I stayed up till 1:30 finishing my drawings for the next day and watched Donnie Darko and Lady in the Water. Kimmy was nice enough this morning to let me sleep in.Because of sleeping in, my day basically began with yoga class. The past couple of Mondays have been difficult; I go to class Monday through Thursday, but I try to do yoga daily, sometimes even some yin-style yoga at night on class days as well. The past two weekends, though, I have not gotten to it at all. This has left me very stiff come the beginning of the week. The great thing, though is that I feel great by the end of class on Monday, and the rest of the week of classes is pretty normal.

Looking back on these past two weekends, it’s been a little more chaotic than usual, but isn’t that the exact kind of environment in which I should especially be doing yoga? It’s funny how we tend to do the opposite of the action that would make a situation better. For the record, I learn a lot from a class structure, but I gain the most from yoga at home. I get to concentrate on my own pace and let my body guide me into each proper asana.

My workday started with a bang. I was running about five minutes late, so I called my appointment to let her know. She sounded a little weird, but said “okay.” Once I got to work at 12:05, she’s not there. 12:30, not there. 1:00, not there. I called her about not showing up for the appointment, since she obviously knew about it. Surprise, voicemail. I figured she was dodging me, so I had Kimmy call her. The woman actually answered the phone and Kimmy told her who she was, so the woman asked if she could call Kimmy back. Surprise, she never did. I was so fucking steamed about the whole situation. What fucking brazenness? How can someone be so passive aggressive that they can’t simply say, “Sorry, I forgot” or “I can’t afford it” or “I chickened out.”

By not calling me to cancel, or at least acknowledging that she wasn’t coming, she basically made me unable to fill the spot, thus cheating me out of a few hundred dollars, at least. This isn’t even taking into account the number of hours I spent drawing the thing.

In situations like this, I’m thankful I work in a self-directed work environment. I went home to spend time with the family and draw for later appointments this week. I also called some of my major pieces in progress to check in and try to book appointments for the people I haven’t seen in a while.

At home, Zeke got some birthday cards in the mail from family, who gave him $15 for his birthday. Zeke was pretty disappointed, hoping it was going to be “a lot of money” in his words. His grandmother called to see how he liked the card and the money and he pouted about it and started to cry some. In response to Zeke’s behavior, Kimmy sent him to his room. I thought about going up and lecturing him, but I kept thinking about how discipline is at its best simply education. I tried to look at things from his perspective. To Zeke, $15 wasn’t a lot of money compared to what he’s been used to getting with two sets of grandparents buying him gifts when he was an only child. So, I went up to Zeke’s room, and sat down and talked to him about what my situation was at his age, (much poorer, living with a single parent) and how some kids at his school might not be able to live as nice a house or have as many toys as he has.

I thought Zeke seemed to get it, but after ten minutes of being downstairs while he was in his room, I could hear him throwing a fit. I called him down and had him sit silently on the floor for several minutes while I finished drawing. After that, I looked up a photo of some african children in poverty, (mild, not too disturbing) and I explained their situation to Zeke, how even a single meal is a blessing, or even clean clothes, much less toys. The description of this actually brought me to tears, a little bit, which made him melt and start crying some. I stressed that I didn’t do all this to make him feel guilt or shame, (which I’m trying to do away with in my parenting) but rather to put what his life is like into the proper context. It all really seemed to click with Zeke at that point.

It’s very easy to think of children as tiny adults when it comes to their manners, etc. In Zeke’s situation today, it’s easy for me to look at him as ungrateful, while truly, honestly, what his actions show is that I as a father have not properly taught him gratitude. I have heard the whole adage about how children are the best teachers, and it’s things like this that make that come alive for me. Any thing I tell my children warrants self-reflection. Do I express gratitude for my life and situation? Am I looking at what I have in the proper context? In these ways, Zeke allows me to grow as he grows.

I can’t help but thinking of Abe, too, right now. He’s inching his way towards the “terrible twos” right now, learning his boundaries and what all. It’s funny, we’ve totally forgotten about that time period with Zeke, and we get to learn how to speak to a two year old again. My mom passed on the best trick, giving two choices.

For example:

Leaving the room making us chase after him-
“Do you want to stay in here like we tell you, or do you want to have to go to your room?”

Throwing his food-
“Do you want to eat your food, or do you want to go to the living room while we eat?”

It amazes me that at less than two years old, this very clear logic resonates with him and he makes his choice. Abe has taken to nodding his head to say yes half of the time, which for some reason makes me smile even more than him saying yes. He actually only whispers yes, and does the same thing for “please”

I headed back up to the shop for my evening appointment– starting a full tribute sleeve with an angel, cross and a portrait. I outlined the major pieces today, and I finished the portrait. We left the transitional stuff in the sleeve for the next session, and decided on one more image for the inner upper arm. Very fun piece so far, I’ll post photos of it soon.

As of getting home, it looks like Kimmy and Abe might be getting sick. Let’s hope not! We’re pounding Airborne to hopefully curb/prevent it.